英语卷子评语50字(英语试卷95分评语简短20字)

英语卷子评语50字(英语试卷95分评语简短20字)

首页英语更新时间:2024-07-24 16:42:24

许多基础比较差的同学在雅思英语考试中,写作模块的成绩总是徘徊在5分左右,总是很难上到5.5分或更高的水平。

那雅思写作5.5分究竟是个怎样的水平呢?

雅思考官在给雅思小作文评分时的标准主要基于以下四个方面:

下面,张老师以《剑桥雅思全真试题集第7册》Test-1的小作文为例,解释考官是如何给一篇5.5分的作文评分的。

小作文题目如下:

WRITING TASK 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The table below gives information on consumer spending on different items in five different countries in 2002.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

Percentage of National consumer expenditure by category - 2002

考生的作文如下:

考生作文

考官评语如下:

一、关于“任务完成情况”(Task Achievement)

1.优点:

2.缺点:

(1)文中只是单纯地给出了数据,但不清楚数据代表什么。例如:

原文:In Ireland and turkey, they were near 30%. (这里并不清楚30%指代什么)

更改后:In Ireland and Turkey, they cost near 30% of the total spending of consumers.

(2)“关键信息的比较”扩展不充分。例如:

原文:In Italy, they got 9%, and in Sweden, they were 5.4%. In the other three countries, the figure were very similar, all were near 6.5%. (只是简单的比较了一个相似点,对其他数据只是简单的罗列,需要进一步优化比较)

更改后:People in Italy spent as high as 9% of ther money on clothing and footwear, compared to only above 5% in Sweden. Figures in other three countries were very similar, at an average of around 6.5%.

二、关于连贯性与衔接(Coherence and cohesion)

1.优点:

2.缺点:

(1)文中并不是所有的论点都被清晰衔接起来。例如:

原文:In Turkey, they were 4.35%, and in the other four countries the figure were under 4%.(简单罗列数据,没有说明2组数据之间的逻辑关系。

修改后:In Turkey, they accounted for a highest percentage of 4.35% of people's total expenditure. By contrast, figures in other countries were all under 3.2%, with Spanish spending the lowest on this item at 1.98%.

(2)文章的整体连贯性主要靠在结尾段重复前面的内容实现。(很显然,文中的最后一段基本上是完全重复了前面几段的内容。)

三、关于词汇(Lexical resource)

1. 词汇量相当有限,刚刚够完成这篇作文。

基本上看不到一个类似consumer spending这一类带有一定实际内涵的词汇。

2. 对题干中信息的改写也展现出灵活性不够(limited flexibility),例如:

题干中:consumer spending on different items in five different countries

文章中:consumer spending on a series of intems in the five countries.(几乎与题干是一模一样)

修改后:The table shows the percentage of money people in five countries spent on three categories of goods and services in the year 2002.

3. 好几处拼写错误和单词形式使用错误。

例如:intems - items; turkey - Turkey; vary - various

4. 大量词汇重复使用。

例如:consumer spending被重复了7次。

四、关于“语法的范围和准确性”(Grammatical range and accuracy)

优点:除了1-2处语法错误外,简单句的使用基本上很正确,且清晰易懂。

语法错误:the figure were - the figures were;

缺点:只有极少的复杂句,句型结构基本上比较单一。

可以看到全文基本上都是类似They were near 30%这样的简单句。

已上就是对整篇文章的一个批阅分析。

从上面的分析,我们可以大致归纳出一篇5.5的雅思小作文应该至少做到以下几点:

当然,大家如果希望在雅思英语写作部分获得更高的分数,就应该仔细分析一下上面所说的文中存在的缺点,确保自己在写作过程中不要犯类似的错误。

原创不易,如果觉得张老师的文章对您有帮助,请关注、转发、收藏、评论、点赞。谢谢大家!!!,
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